Hobbies and Dreams

What dreams did you have for yourself when you were younger? Are they still a dreams or a reality?

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Growing up, you have these grand plans of what you’ll accomplish when you’re older. You visualize about a day you’ll realize those dreams into reality, and up until you’re a real adult and come to the conclusion that life doesn’t really work that way, you’re so sure all your dreams will come true. Just me? Probably not. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the dreams I had for myself 20 years ago. From becoming an author to becoming a model to become a stylist to becoming a photographer – I had grand plans for myself.

Now that I’m older and I’ve paid bills, been in debt, and have been far too jaded for a 35-year-old, I kinda miss that whistful girl. It wasn’t even that long ago that the photography dream was in my sights. I dabbled a bit in Arizona but nothing really came to fruition. The model dream was one I had for A LONG TIME. I paid “agencies” to try to make my dreams come true but got burned and decided to scrap the idea. I then spent years filling out countless applications to become a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. I even had my photos taken to submit. But I never sent those applications in.

And the author dream. I think I was eight when I decided I want to write books. I wish I could recall what spurred the dream but I loved the idea of having a story to tell and others reading that story. When I was 15, I remember coming up with a title to my memoir. Yep, a memoir. Given, there is a lot about me that most people don’t know and at that age, I thought it would make a great story. Here I am 20 years later, and boy do I have a story to tell. Yet, it hasn’t been written. Rest assured, it’s still something I want to accomplish.

Something I’ve come to learn about myself is that I dream big but don’t follow through. I think that’s one of my overall character flaws. I’m sure it has something to do with not having a Type A, perfectionist personality. At least that’s what I tell myself.

I kinda wish there was an inspirational ending to this post. You know, to make it seem more closed and less rambly, but I’ve got nothing. I do know that this blog is kinda a culmination of those dreams – stylist, model, writer, and photographer at times. So there’s that. I can admit that I still have dreams that I don’t think I’ll ever accomplish and I guess that’s okay. Again, at least that’s what I tell myself.