I probably shouldn’t publish this post but whatever, it’s my blog and I do what I want.
Get the Look:
Apparently being overly positive is a bad thing. Who knew? I’m not saying being positive in general is a bad, because it’s not, but being insincere with that positivity isn’t necessarily a good thing. However in today’s world, toxic positivity is everywhere and you may not even know. I sure didn’t. How many times a day do you scroll through Instagram and see hashtag “positive vibes only” or the message to “look on the bright side?” That’s all well in good but recently, my eyes have been open to leaning into the bad feelings and…feeling them.
The last few weeks have been pure hell. There’s so much going on behind the scenes that kinda make life really unlivable. And while I kinda cringe to write that, I need to lean into that feeling. I can’t find a silver lining right now, and you know what – that’s okay. It’s okay to be struggling right now. Hello, we’re living through a fucking pandemic. And honestly, I’m over the encouragement about doing ALL THE THINGS right now since we have all this time.
NO, I don’t want to begin writing that book that I’ve wanted to write since I was 15. NO, I don’t want to work on my Pinterest game right now to get more blog visitors. NO, I don’t want to do all the damn crafts with my kids. NO, I don’t want to reorganize another fucking room in my house. I DON’T WANT TO BE POSITIVE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M FEELING. I’m feeling scared, and tired, and exhausted, and lonely, and mad, and like I’m fucking up my kids. I’m feeling like I’m tried of feeling and my head always hurts because I’m always trying to fight back tears. And you want to know something stupid – it took a lot of effort to slap a smile while snapping these pictures because all I wanted to do was cry.
And that’s okay.
Get the Look: