This last week has brought up a ton of emotions around the fact that my baby girl is turning five today. Like, I’m crying right now just reminiscing over the last five years of my life being her mother. Time, slow the eff down! Just when I think I’m mentally prepared for my tiny humans to grow a year older, a birthday hits and I’m sobbing uncontrollably. It’s pathetic, I know, but even though it’s her birthday, I feel as if I’m celebrating a birthday of my own. Today I celebrate my role and title as her mom.

Each birthday I long for those chubby cheeks that used to consumer her tiny, round face. Do you remember that face? Her chubby baby rolls were my favorite. It were as if she was a little Michelin Man! Now, Remy’s all long limbs, big olive green eyes, and a head full of curls. She’s just as beautiful as the day she was born. And on that day five years ago, I knew I was bestowed with a responsibility to raise a strong, capable, kind woman of God. I don’t take that lightly.

I think I’m finding this birthday harder than the one’s before it because she’ll be starting school in the Fall and it scares me to think how exposed she’ll be. Exposed to this big, scary world we’re living in. I wish that I can protect her from all hurtful people and experiences she’s bound to encounter, but I know I can’t. I do however know what I can do. I can teach her, with everything in my power, to be a good person. I can teach her to love, regardless of race, gender or religion. I can teach her to be kind and to spread that kindness like it’s going out of style. I’ll probably make my fair share of mistakes along the way, heck, I’ve made countless one’s already, but I take pride in my responsibility to teach her that love and kindness are not exclusive but inclusive.

I am so proud of the person she’s becoming! Remy is strong-willed, intelligent and creative. She loves being outdoors, loves wearing dresses with a good twirl factor, and adores her little brother. Remy is always asking questions, her favorite color is rainbow (I love that!), and her current favorite song is Maren Morris’ The Middle. She’d eat corndogs for every meal if we let her, right now her favorite Disney princess is Elsa, and she loves to lay in bed at night with at least five books to accompany her. Remy Maryn is a spark, and I have no doubt that she will do great things in her life.

Happy birthday, Rems! I have been fortunate enough to be along for the ride these last few years, and while some years were bumpier than others, I have been forever blessed by you. Each day you impress me more than the last, and I thank you for allowing me to be your mama. I love you more than words can describe. You are my light.