Real Talk: 14 Things No One Tells You About the Fourth Trimester

The clock is ticking down to the arrival of
Baby Boy Mason so I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for the chaos
that will ensue after our little bundle of joy arrives. There is so much that
happens after the delivery of a child. Really, the delivery tends to be the easy
part, it’s what happens next that throws the new mom in to a tailspin of
anxiety/hormones/emotions/all of the above. But let’s first address the
elephant in the room, shall we? Yes, there is a fourth trimester. What, they
didn’t tell you that during the birthing classes? Yeah, apparently it’s a little
secret mothers keep to themselves so that new moms feel absolutely crazy during
those first three months after the baby is born. Because during that time it’s basically
an extension of life in the womb for a baby. After 40 weeks in utero you can’t
expect that tiny babe to adjust to life ‘on the outside’ after months of
constant warmth and closeness. So I’m here to tell new moms (and to remind myself, really) that there
are a few things you should probably prepare for after your tiny human makes
his or hers grand appearance.

You will be an emotional mess regardless of how
much help or sleep you are getting. Your hormones will be out of whack. Accept this
and attempt to move on.
Breastfeeding will be hard. Even if your tiny babe
latches on like a champ, there will still be pain, scheduling feedings will
take over your life and nipple and breast soreness are inevitable.
All babies are different. Sure, Remy slept
through the night after about 2 days in the world but I can’t expect Baby Boy
to do the same. In parenting expect the
unexpected.
You will miss them so deeply when they’re sleeping. It
will feel like a piece of you is missing. But whatever you do – DON’T WAKE THEM
UP!
It’s okay to ask for help. From your spouse,
family or friends. If you feel like you’re drowning it doesn’t make you a bad
mom. Your mental well-being is very important for the sake of your baby.
You will shed like a dog. So much stray hairs
EVERYWHERE.
There will be really rough days. Days where you
will convince yourself that it will always be this hard but rest assured there
is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The good days will not only
outweigh the bad but they will make you forget them all together.
With every new milestone/stage comes a
different challenge.
You will never fully experience a deep sleep again (unless you are away from baby for the night
and that’s rare). Remy is three years old and sleeps through the night but
there is a part of my subconscious that is always on alert. Always.
There is no wrong way to parent. Whether you
are breastfeeding your child or formula feeding them, there is no wrong way as
long as you are caring for them.
There will be a shift in your relationship with
your partner. It may be good, it may be bad. If it’s bad – TALK ABOUT IT. Talk about
how you are feeling, ask them how they are feeling, figure out a way to be in
constant communication.
This one is personally for me because I can’t
speak for all the other moms/moms-to-be but routine is key. Having a strict
napping/feeding schedule isn’t really important but having a flexible routine
will make all the difference.
If you can, talk to other moms. I was the first
of all my friends to have a child so I didn’t have this luxury. But you better
believe I offered up a lending ear once my girlfriends started popping out
kids. It’s nice to get a different perspective sometimes.
It will all be so draining but so worth it!