Motherhood Real Talk

Real Talk: Mommy Shaming

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Moms, have you ever caught yourself mentally commenting on how another mother dresses her child, or wondering why another mother isn’t weaning her baby, or making a snarky remark about how another mother might be raising her kid? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you, my friend, are guilty of mommy shaming. Hey, I myself have done the unthinkable and have mentally disgraced a fellow mother and I’m telling you this, mommy shaming needs to stop!

Sometimes I’m shocked that people think it’s appropriate to comment on my parenting skills and it comes as a total shock when the commenters are women themselves. How dare you judge me and my decisions? As women, specifically as mothers, I think the judgment is ridiculous. Mothers can be brutal when it comes to the parenting choices of another mother. As a new mom still navigating through this whole parenting thing, I’d really appreciate if other mothers wouldn’t criticize and nitpick my decisions as a parent.

Shouldn’t we be standing by our fellow mamas and show support, commodity and admiration for that special bond we all mutually share as mothers?  Has the World’s Toughest Job clip not taught us anything ? We need to stop tearing each other down and start building each other up. I’ve come to realize that as a mother, I’m going to have to get used to other mothers questioning or even criticizing my parenting skills, but I must also learn to brush it off instead of taking it personally. Everyone’s a critic. I’ve gotten used to women of an older generation imparting their ‘sage’ wisdom and sharing their unsolicited advice. I typically nod and move on, but when it comes to mammas of my generation it stings. My typical response is a greeted with a snarky comment but if you really cut me deep, I just go home and cry about it.

But we’ve got to put things in perspective – are our children safe? Yes. Then we must rest assured that our maternal instincts are steering each and every one of us in the right direction.  I urge you not to let anyone make you feel guilty about doing what’s best for you and your child. Your baby, your decisions. Whether you are a working mom or a SAHM, sleep training or co-sleeping, nursing or bottle feeding, breastfeeding or formula feeding, mother of one or several, we are ALL doing our very best to raise our children and we should support each other. Because really, we have the world’s toughest job.


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