After the initial high of becoming a momma to the little peanut I’ve become overly obsessed with, I’ve suddenly realized that I’ve lost myself in the mommy role. I completely understand that my priorities have shifted and have changed since Remy’s arrival, but there are times I look in the mirror and don’t recognize the woman I’ve become. I’m a mother. HOLY CRAP! I always thought that when I became a mom I would be calm and wise, and would have my act together. Let me tell ya, that is not the case!
I am slowly on the journey to rediscovering myself and introducing my new self to my previous self, pre-baby. Returned to work, after spending three months at home getting adjusted to the whole motherhood thing, has given me a sliver of my former life. It’s given me the opportunity to get dressed and ready for work, get out of the house, and have adult conversations – all things I have grown to value in my daily life away from Remy. In this process of rediscovery, I have tried to come up with other activities that could help me rekindle that spark with my former self.
Here’s a small list of what I’ve come up with:
Arrange a monthly date night – I’ve realized that it is really important to have some time alone with Kevin. Our relationship is the foundation for our family so that relationship needs to be nurtured.
Arrange a monthly girls’ night – Set a date with some girlfriends for a night of dinner and drinks, Sunday brunch, or a shopping trip!
Establish an exercise routine – this is important for both my body and my sanity. Unfortunately I’ve been majorly slacking, and by slacking I mean I haven’t done anything to get my endorphins pumping but I’m planning to fix that real soon.
Take up a hobby – maintaining FabAve is really important to me. It gives me an opportunity to be creative and to actively cultivate my love of writing.
With all that said there is one thing that I have come to realize: I simply just have to accept the fact that I am a different person now. I had a baby and now Kevin and I have a new family member to consider when planning our lives. It’s only natural that things will change and I have to accept that. With this acceptance I must adapt to the new changes; it’s not a matter of fitting Remy into my old life but accepting this new version of myself and embracing it.
I would love to hear from new moms that might have experienced a loss of identity after having a baby. Did you go through same journey of rediscovery?